The Ladies Sewing Circle August Meeting - conclusion.

   'I always find the efficacy of a good pyjamaring is enhanced by suitable humiliation - please do let me demonstrate the key elements of my personal approach'. 

Behind Mrs SP at the back of the stage, stood three worthless males displayed in their boldly striped baggy pyjama suits , heads bowed and hands clasped in front.

'Mabel, would you kindly pass me your husband and I will begin'

Mrs Williamson moved across the stage and grasping her husband George firmly by the collar ,marched him centre stage to Mrs SP with his overlong trousers scraping on the floor and causing him to trip and stumble.

'Now, let us consider the key elements of pyjamering nightwear'.   Brandishing a wooden ruler, Mrs SP proceeded to point and prod at George's pyjamas.

'Firstly, size. Ladies, as a general principle, please ensure that you purchase garments that are several sizes too large. Pulling at the back of his collar, she noted the size label - 'Ah, 6xl, an excellent choice Mabel - George is almost drowning in these pyjamas' See how the jacket hem reaches the knee and the trousers are puddling around his feet. With the jacket buttoned to the neck, we can all observe that the male is fully enclosed 

'Fabric should  ideally be thick sanforized cotton winceyette in traditional bold stripes as this will give years of service and will tolerate frequent laundering. 

'Styling - we do not need to consider matters of style.  'Fitted' or slimmer fitting loungewear that the chaps seem to be wearing these days should not be entertained. Pyjamas should be generally shapeless and hang loosely'.  I think you could consider placing your male in the corner of the bedroom for an extended cornertime as this will allow you to evaluate if the pyjamas are sufficiently shapeless and humiliating.

'Jacket - plenty of length, a generous wide collar and a top button that can be firmly closed at all times.  A large chest pocket is ideal for holding the list of chores for the day and other useful items.'

'Trousers - Baggy, wide-legged fit, traditional tie cord waist and preferably with a 'Balloon Seat'. This latter feature can be found on older traditional pyjamas and creates a very roomy sagging crotch that makes the male appear quite ridiculous'. George is modelling such trousers today'

'Please turn around George - put your hands on your head and stand with legs slightly apart'

Lifting up the overlong jacket, Mrs SP poked at the sagging crotch of George's trousers with the ruler, lifted up folds of material and let them fall - 'You see Ladies - plenty of room if you wished to place your male in nappies'

 'Now, whether or not to tuck the jacket into the trousers is entirely up to the individual woman and may depend on the situation of course'. 'If the man is fulfilling his cleaning chores and is generally required to work on hands and knees then the jacket could be tucked as this will prevent it from dragging on the wet floor and from being knelt on as he works'                  'Lionel once spoiled a fine pair of robust ex-Government striped prison pyjamas by kneeling in bleach as he cleaned the lavatory and I was forced to soap out his mouth and spank him fiercely with his slipper' 

Let me demonstrate how tucked pyjamas should appear and how to achieve this'

'George, hands up in the air please'  The poor man dutifully complied as the cord holding up his voluminous pyjama trousers was tugged briskly and they fell to the ground in a pile of striped winceyette. 

'Now turn and face our audience of esteemed ladies please'. Blushing fiercely, George turned as asked with his jacket hanging to his knees and the overlong sleeves hanging well past his hands. 

'Now fortunately for us all here, your huge pyjama jacket is concealing your little Pee-Pee so we do not need to be concerned!'  A ripple of amusement spread through the audience.

Mrs SP bent down and grasped two handfuls of the fallen trousers and deftly pulled them up over George's jacket and with another quick movement pulled them to his armpits before tying the cord firmly. ' And as a final touch it is good fun to try this!'.....reaching into his pyjama jacket pocket she produced a simple ballgag that she pushed firmly into George's mouth and deftly clipped behind his head.

'There we are ladies- a fully pyjamaed husband ready to be directed to any task and who will not be able to chatter or answer back!

'Next month I shall be exploring further ways of humiliating the worthless males in your life so please do sign up in the Hall register and do feel free to post photographs of your pyjamaed men to my website.'

                                   George is invited to display his pyjamaed status